Nothing’s been published, but I’ve been writing. There’s this post I’ve been working on, but I just can’t get it right. I’ve mapped it out in my head, but tackling it seems so daunting. It’s coming along, piece by piece, but it’s nowhere near ready to be shared. However, it is a post I’d like to get up….soon. For now, this is me freestyling.
Perhaps, some of you would like an update to my last post, Going offline: dating and connecting. How successful have I been at finding love the old fashioned way? Have I really given technology the finger, and been enjoying the organic approach to dating? Well, let me start with the day after I published my last blog post.
To be honest, I was a little nervous about putting that one out there, since I knew that my date would be reading it. I wondered if I should have given him a heads up before publishing it. How is he going to react? Have I overstepped some invisible boundary? The next morning I pushed those thoughts out of my head, met a friend for coffee and then went down to the ocean to study Italian. At 11:30am my phone whistled:
Good morning, Amy :). I don’t know how many times I’ve read your latest blog, you’ve made my day! Xoxo
I let out a sigh of relief, a smile crossed my face, and I fired back a text. This exchange went on for a few minutes……and then nothing. I tried to focus on studying Italian, my class was that night, but really my mind was elsewhere. Then my phone rang, and he magically appeared. I was shocked that my writing had the power to make him stop mid-laundry cycle, forgo his walking cast, and almost miss his physio appointment, just so that he could come see me. In his car, between kisses, he told me he never knew that I’d had butterflies the first time we ran into each other at the beach. (I think he’s beginning to realize that there will be more surprises along the way, and that I don’t always speak my mind. So far, he doesn’t seem to mind, and his inklings are usually right. Since he reads my posts, he knows the art of connecting with an introvert.) He was so taken by the post that he actually shared it with his friends — while his friends are sharing photos of their girlfriends, he’s sharing my writing. As an introverted blogger, this makes my heart melt.
So, back to giving technology the finger…. I have come to the conclusion that it is somewhat impossible. Since our organic meeting, texting has been our primary way to connect when we’re not together, whether it be to setup a date or just let the other know that they’re in our thoughts. We’re also guilty of exchanging the occasional Facebook message. However, I am much more disconnected technology-wise now than I have been in the past. When we’re both going about our own lives that is what we are doing — we’re fully present wherever we are, whether it be together or apart.
Although technology is playing a part in my dating life, it’s not the primary focus. We don’t text for hours on end, and when we have something to say we pick up the phone or find some way to meet up. When we’re together our phones stay out of sight unless we have a burning question for Google. When we’re together we talk about what’s on our minds, we ask the bigger questions, we listen to what’s being said….and sometimes what’s not, we sit with the silences, we go out on dates, we give each other space, we find joy in mundane activities, we surprise each other. Our relationship is growing organically, it’s not following any script, and we’re navigating the grey areas together with our eyes wide open.
I could write more on what has transpired since we’ve reconnected, but I’ll leave our story here. It’s a story for the two of us to savour. All I’ll tell you is that our Friday coffee outings and walks to the beach are continuing — they’ve become our little ritual.
In the days to come, I will sit with my writing, and develop my next post. I’ll come up with something less self-absorbed and more about finding balance and sweetness in life. It’ll appeal to a wider audience — I promise you that.