NaBloPoMo day number four is knocking on my door. I only have three more hours to get this post published. It’s been a long day and I would love to just curl up in bed, but I must persist. I feel drained; from the moment I woke up to the moment I perched myself here, I’ve been missing that fall-back hour, and wishing that I was elsewhere.
It started with turning off my alarm five times, thinking about not going into work once my eyes opened, and then wondering what would happen if I didn’t, while I was running for the bus. If I had called in sick, when the first alarm went off, my day would have looked quite different. It’s not that I had a bad day today, it’s just that I was nostalgic for my freelancing days. Those were the days when I could work in my pyjamas, enjoy a mid-morning coffee with friends, and then meet a client in the late afternoon. I could sleep in, or go to bed late — it was all up to me. Now, I must be at work no later than eight, sip coffee at my desk, and go home no earlier than five. Usually, I stay much later and go in much earlier. I am part of the daily grind.
What if I wasn’t part of the daily grind? What if I hadn’t gone into work today? What would I have done? I know I can’t press rewind, but I can imagine. I would have slept in until about nine or ten, and then laced up my runners for a run along the ocean. I wouldn’t have let my mind wander and worry like it usually does — I’d have kept it in the present moment with the chilly wind at my back, the ocean in front of me, and the smell of the sea all around me. I’d have smiled at all the joggers running past with their dogs in tow. When the run was over, I’d have enjoyed a cappuccino and the morning paper, and then I would have started to think about the rest of my day. The rest of my day might have involved some writing, some tutoring, or maybe just time with a close friend. It would have been a slow and simple day, a day where I wasn’t constantly worrying about my neverending to-do list. Well, I guess one can only dream.
Now, dreaming is what I’ll do. Good night, NaBloPoMo!