It’s a whole new dating world and I’m thinking about joining it again. After experimenting with dating apps, going out with safe pseudo-dates, and consuming books like Modern Romance and movies like Everything Before Us, I’ve decided to let technology help me and have one last pseudo-date. This is my warm-up.
To be honest, I’m not really sure how to approach dating again, so I ended up creating a profile on OK Stupid aka OKCupid. I know I should give online dating a chance, but after making a connection without technology, I feel like I am taking a step backwards. I feel like something is wrong with me. Yes, this is me being stupid. Studies show that those who partake in online dating are usually university-educated, often with multiple degrees. (Sorry, I cannot find the source to back this up, but I’m going to take my friends word for it, and my own personal research.) When you think about it, it makes perfect sense — look at the data and algorithms that are used to predict matches! Plus candidates are given a space to write a statement of purpose, and to select ideal mates based on personal data, pictures, and good grammar. For brainy folks, that is sexy. So, why doesn’t this online dating excite me? I will save that for another post – this is about my warm-up to adventures in the new dating world!
Before embarking on these adventures, I ended up going out for dinner with pseudo-date #1. As you might recall, this is the platonic friend that drives me nuts, but I still make an effort to impress. This time it was very different. After six weeks in his motherland, he came home with a ring and immigration documents. When he picked me up, he announced right away, “I’m off the market!” I went into over-analyzing mode –does he read my blog?
Over dinner, he shared pictures of his wife and her family, a sexy cabinet minister (not his wife), and a meme insinuating that the only happy men are single. Me being me, I called him out on this. He defended himself right off the bat, and even though I pressed the issue, I knew that he was genuinely happy to not be single anymore. He had been seeking stability and the ‘right’ someone for quite some time, and had finally found her. I was ecstatic for him, and also fascinated by the arrangement process. After my long line of questioning, we decided to share a dessert. I suggested lavender chocolate mousse — the ‘what-if’ guy had recommended it. The guy who had invited me to an open mic, but I had declined due to laundry.
As I dipped my spoon in the mousse, I noticed the ‘what-if’ guy (with a bit more facial hair and the same glasses) sitting by himself at the bar. Really? Yes, really! Our eyes met and we exchanged smiles, once again sitting at different tables. The married man excused himself, and I was alone at the table. It’s no surprise that ‘what-if’ guy did not take this opportunity to approach me — it looked as if I was on a date! And I didn’t have the guts to walk up to him, and say, “I’m not crazy about the mousse, but I would like to get to know you more.” Lesson learned: if you go on pseudo-dates, you eliminate opportunities for real connections.
Yes, that was a bit of a detour from my real adventures in dating, but it was a story worth sharing. It’s the warm-up and why I believe I don’t need a digital cupid. And you know what? OkCupid was not what I remembered. I received barely any messages — 35, fully-clothed (not even a collarbone protruding), bookworm, elusive answers, what did I expect?!
To be continued…..with the real OKCupid dates.